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09/20/2010

Comments

lostdwarf

I'm amazed at how well you're able to articulate your feelings in a fairly objective way. I know when I'm upset, all I can normally get out is GRRR, ARGGH, ME WANT TO SMASH SOMETHING!

First, ((((Alex))))

Second, I think this is harder for you because you know all the psychological things that are wrong that she probably should be looking at but is too self-centered to actually think about.

(I'm not trying to be mean about your sister; she's at an age where they are ALL self-centered. Everything is about how something affects them. It's unfortunate and occasionally I want to give some teenagers smacks.)

Third, ((((Alex))))

Alex

Thanks, my dear. ((((hugs)))) I really appreciate your comment, and you're quite right.

I feel much better today, even though I'm still frustrated that we don't really have a direction to go in. Her drug test was clean, which is good I guess, but the social worker there wasn't helpful. "What I'm seeing is an angry 16 year old whose parents invaded her privacy." I appreciate her point, and I'm sure she sees that a lot, but I want to politely tell her to fuck off. I see a troubled 16 year old with a history of drug abuse (including heroin!) sneaking out at night, keeping weed in the house, and snorting prescription drugs through a pen. And if that's what a normal angry 16 year old looks like, I and all the rest of my siblings must have had a misspent youth because that kind of reaction would be unthinkable.

liliales

It is not fair to the rest of you to have to deal with this. So you get to, you must, vent.

My oldest daughter was always, let's say, complicated, and became a serious pain from 16-18, really interfering with the family dynamic. Not substance abuse but other problems that are serious. She's a completely different person now, though various labels of disorder were attached to her then. It was like that stage of development just did not work right for her, at all.

She'll always be kind of a weird person, but wants to be a calm and giving person. So, very self-aware, she cares for herself and others these days, always seeking balance.

No one can say how your sister will come through this period of time. But it can and sometimes does turn out pretty well. In the meantime, though, you have to maintain your own strength and health, as do your parents.

Account Deleted

Gosh, Alex. I can't imagine being in a situation like that and not being able to talk to SOMEONE about it. So, by all means, vent all you need to. I hope that it helps that more than one person is paying attention at this point. I hope your sister is okay. BTW, that therapist or whatever is way off base. One of the things that they teach you in parenting classes is how to deal with the possibility of your child doing drugs. Yes, someone's privacy is going to be invaded. Yes, they are going to get upset. They don't want you to find their drugs. They don't want you to try and stop them from getting high because something hurts and the drugs, whatever they are, make it go away (if only temporarily). However, somewhere, deep, deep inside. This same person is grateful that their privacy was invaded, grateful that the drugs were found and confiscated, grateful that someone is trying to help them stop. Now, don't think I'm claiming to understand what you're going through. Far from it. I just want you to know that people are listening and that what your family is doing, even though your sister doesn't like it, is perfectly fine. Better than fine, given your sister's history of drug abuse. Heck! If it was me, I'd nail her windows shut and install a sliding bolt lock on the outside of her door to insure she stayed in at night.

handtalker

(((Alex))) Vent all you need! Better out than in!

Alex

Thank you so much, y'all.

liliales- It's nice to hear a "success story"! I hope and pray that my sister gets better with time, because wouldn't that be nice?? In some ways she is a little better, or at least seems very slightly more emotionally stable. 12-14 were fairly volitile.

Cimmorene- It really means a lot to get some outside validation of how I feel and how my family chooses to deal with this situation. Thank you! And while her window hasn't been nailed shut, there's a door alarm in place until a better solution presents itself. :)

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